Ok Well Im back, but with some paretning questions.
Over the course of the last month the girls have gone from staying 1 night a week with their father and now have been staying 2 nights. The first few weeks were necessary because I was working till 10 p.m. XH got his schedule changed so he could be there to have the girls.
Well now he's got his schedule changed again so it looks like he can have them two nights every week for an indefinate amount of time.
The problem is, after 5 months of the girls staying with him they STILL aren't quite comfortable and don't like staying for more than 1 night. D9 had a meltdown last night when I told her that she would be spending 2 nights with her Dad this week. She started crying and said she didn't like the change because she misses me and doesn't get to see me for a long time.
The girls seem to have this " all for one and one for all" pact and that is neither one of them stay overnight without the other. OW still makes no serious attempts to connect with kids. Obviously she has no desire to really have anything to do with them and her time is DONE as far as the child rearing is concerned. If I had 5 children and 6 grandchildren by her age I might feel the same way.
Im concerned. It's 5 months now and I had expected the girls would be much more comfortable at their Dad's by now, but they still are seriously irriated by OW presence and feel bored all the time and miss me. I don't want to force them to stay longer than they want to and end up causing resentment over it later in life. Yet My attorney's office told me something very cut at dry. That is their father and the kids can't refuse to see him. If they come home crying, patch the kids up and turn around and send them back out to him. Though I agree the girls should have a relationship with him, I do not feel it's my job to jump up in the middle of this and try to fix anything. This is between their Dad and the girls. It's his responsibility to nurture them and work on bridging that gap that he made, not me.
I have no desire to alienate the kids from him or keep them from him. But at the same time when my kids are digging their heels in the ground, crying, and letting me know they're not wanting to spend any more time there than needed, shouldn't I pay attention to this? Could this be a sign of something going on I don't know about?
