Wife of 7-Years is Divorcing Me, but Yet Not pt. 8

[heartbrokeinsd]

you are in my prayers

[LITB]

Good luck today Alamo. I know how difficult this is. You are in my prayers.

[needgrace]

Thinking about you today Alamo and praying that you find strength and calmness to carry you through today. ((( )))

[JustStunned]

Alamo, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[jon2911]

Praying for you Alamo

[alamo76]

Thank you guys!

So, to update y'all on what transpired today's hearing... basically, nothing was decided today due to the circumstances (my wife's need to move ASAP) and allegations made against me (my wife's fear that I'm addicted to child porn and that I may be abusive to our son). The judge, in his wisdom, decided that it wouldn't be prudent to make a knee-jerk decision today, but wants us to reconvene on June 20 for a full-blown review, i.e. I will be required to bring live witnesses to attest to:

a. My recovery, and/or
b. My character (in other words, they want character references)
c. And how both a & b are to our son's benefit

I have to gather my group of witnesses by June 14, so there's a lot of praying and work ahead.

I also just want you to know that tour support in my present journey to be a better man, father, friend, husband and disciple has been priceless. Even though we're communicating on an online forum, your genuineness, love and care have always felt substantial and real to me.

[Valeska19]

Glad to hear the judge showed wisdom.

God really does take care of us..

Try not to get overwhelmed by what you need to provide. When you start finding people - rejoice in that fact that you have grown and are conquering an addiction....

..and that people not only see, but believe it!

[25yearsmlc]

what she said^^^....

and please, NEVER confuse or interchangably use the terms "porn" and the word "Child".

If I recall correctly,

You never knowingly possessed, looked at or enjoyed anything remotely similiar to child porn.

That's a nuclear weapon your w is arming for a probable launch

and you must MUST shield yourself from that.

First, Make it clear that your "porn addiction" (an over used word if ever there was one) NEVER anything but a fetish or over interest or "addiction"

but only about adults having sex and that you wish you had resolved it earlier b/c it hurt your wife's feelings and it hurt the marriage,

but Alamo, make no mistake... if that false allegation about a child and porn, gets ANY traction

good luck getting any unsupervised visits with your son.

and

Do not ever let your wife accuse YOU of playing dirty in this - b/c she has made a claim that is as low as it gets.

all to get you to do what she wants...MOVE for her convenience,getting son when it's convenient for HER, or not getting him at all b/c she's mad, it's just

purely extortionary, and imo it's pretty evil to accuse the father of your child of that..so you can get custody OR force the other parent to move.

What a hypocrite.

When I pray for YOU in your hearing, I'll also pray she sees the light, b/c she's really in denial about her own vindictive nature and willingness to say or do anything to get what SHE wants...how tragic for your son.

You may want to ask her why so many of these "discussions" (attacks) happen in front of your son.

What's her goal there? Doing what's best for HIM? Yeah sure...whatever she needs to tell herself to sleep at night.


((( )))

[25yearsmlc]

ps


do not let FEAR guide you or control you. She's not the first woman to allege this and the judge knows that.

But be vigilant. Do not cave in to her b/c of your fears. That is short sighted and you'll always regret not standing up for time with your son if you let your fears or inability to confront conflict, win out over standing up for yourself and your son.

There is a reason you and your son are happier when you have enough time.

How did that get shortened? When your w brings up legal matters, which are only needed b/c of how SHE TREATED YOU in this mediation deal, in which

anytime she didn't get what ALL of what she wanted, she'd get angry.'
That's why you hired a lawyer.

If you had not, your wife would gladly have written up the whole "agreement" and had you sign it and act as if that was fair.

She's blind to what is fair to you. I hope you see that.

Any hope of a reconcilation must be seen as something that only can happen if the obstacle of respect is overcome.

MEANING, she won't want to be married to you unless she believes she can respect you

and that won't happen w/ you playing all nice/agreeable doormat.
There are ways of being calm, firm, strong and assertive and willing to make concessions when advisable.

It's not black and white, not about being "all jack ass versus doormat".

Make sense?

Read Bond's post again b/c I think it's got a lot of value in it, as does Val's.

We're all rooting for you. i wonder if anuy of your posts here are admissible. See what your L says but

be mindful, if any of it gets in, all of it could.


((( )))

[jon2911]

Good news Alamo!