People say the stupidest things, they really do. I am so sorry that your sister displayed so little sensitivity.
I had similar comments about not being my old self. But how could we be? We have been thoroughly traumatized, and emotionally abused by the person we loved and trusted, and who vowed to be faithful to us!
I believe that your children understand that you are still hurting, and they wish you were not - it is that simple. They know, as you do, better than anyone, that their father isn't who he was. My xh showed up for my son's wedding during the early years of his MLC, and it was very very hard, as he seemed to want everything but me, but he then drifted further off into lalaland, and we have gradually recreated our family in which he no longer has a part. We didn't exclude him, he excluded himself. MLCers do not put the sustained effort into relationships that is required to keep them going. They pick up and drop, and eventually people get really fed up with that.
I think my xh has accepted the situation in which he has limited and casual contact with his children, and none at all with me, and is now happy in his own way. I am glad he is happy, as happy as he is capable of being. I can't say I would have been able to glad in the early stages because I hurt so much, but when you hurt less, it is easier to wish them well and let them go.
You did well, and need a pat on the back and a big hug. And so here is a virtual one from me, I know how hard all of this stuff is.
