Moving on....

[irishblessings]

Well folks - the big weekend has come and gone! My daughter's bridal shower and my son's graduation party. I worked so hard cleaning up the house and the yard - I had amazing family and friends help me and the whole thing was a tremendous success.

XH showed up - his family was there almost an hour before he arrived. I kept it light though and tried to just make everyone comfortable. XH arrived and looked - well, just strange. My friends from work had not seen him in 2 years and they said he looked like a total "alien". Just so strange... He and his gf have broken up.

So he ends up talking to my uncle and father - makes plans to drive to daughter's wedding with them to play golf!!! I keep it together through the rest of the night - but the next day i break down. I feel so guilty - he wants EVERYTHING else we had together EXCEPT me! I can't purge this - I can't seem to stop internalizing this pain of "knowing" he never wanted to be with me - I was NEVER right for him.

Anyway - my sister came in and she said - "your kids want their mother back". I said "I don't understand.- I have not missed a beat - shown up for everything -paid for everything I could - tried my best" She said - well they don't feel like you are your old self. I was heartbroken. It was tough. But I kept it together and kept smiling.

Anyway - thank you for listening!