Have you thought of trying to reward her good behavior? For example, if she is acting like a responsible adult maybe saying "wife, I think you did a great job with that". Sometimes we can help them just a bit by recognizing that they are in need of some attention. Just like a child, reward only good behavior or behavior that you feel is worthy of recognition.
There are some that like to stay in Peter Pan's world and I surely hope that she's not one of them.
Just my two cents worth this evening.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
