I haven't got time for the pain

[tested metal]

That's exactly it Snod. She was always the "fat" sister who syas that her little sister (track star, graduate school grad., etc) was always her parent's favorite. Whether this is perceived or real is not important I guess because it is her reality.

She has acted very childlike when she would not get what she wanted (slaming doors, pouting, etc). She even was having a fit during her sister's wedding, probably because it overshadowed her pregnancy, and basically feigned sickness to not be at the reception (and she was the maid of honor!)

I think that some of her childishness is coming out even more, but I also see times she is very responsible, or at least acts like she is.

She even said during her last visit that she was a little jealous when she heard her sister was pregnant (which is now a miscarriage) because she can't have anymore children. The claim about not being able to have more children is her claim, she has not been told that by a doctor.

I realized last night that our marriage was in trouble from day one because I was avoiding conflict and she would steamroll me with this type of behavior until I either gave in, or she would resent me for "not being caring."

I realize that I could always have room for improvement in the area of listening, but I think I shut off basically because this behavior was so intimidating/annoying/ frustrating to deal with. (not an excuse, just an explanation).