AT makes a good reference that while DB is what we follow, all DB can be open to interpretation based on our unique sitches.
So while you may be or are going to go LRT, you can modify it to some degree, just as you modify dark to "dim" in consideration of your S.
OK, not sure what your friend suggested, I'm short on time and going back into semi retirement again...
But here's my take on this:
Do nothing BECAUSE OF the OW. Good notice that you are reacting to your H's being with her. When making any choices, make sure that they do not (for the most part, I'll note this later) have anything to do with OW.
In regards to taking duties / time with your S while your H is working, that is great. But in the "normal world" you would need to make arrangements for your S when you are working. Job hunting is just like working.
Now here's the part about when to consider OW in the equation. At this time, my opinion is that your S should have as limited contact with OW as possible. Unless your H and OW have set a wedding date, his R with her could just as easily be short term and otherwise confusing for your S.
So having S while H is with OW... well, that's kinda a no brainer IMHO...
(using the non-but that I think we are using around here now) having said that...
If the alternative to you staying at home is that S is with H and possibly OW... then consider that your schedule with S would mean that you would get child care / baby sitters for your S.
So is this a boundary issue?
Yes, it can be. The boundary being that you have to find work and also that you do not want S around OW unless your H is planning on M her.
So my thought would be, tell H that you are actively seeking employment and as such will need temporary daycare for S during times when you need to go for interviews or other things you cannot take S with you. Have some options at the ready. You will be looking to have H pay AT LEAST half. Possibly the full amount as you are still financially dependent on him.
WHEN you have that convo with him, please remember the 48 hour rule.
There is a possibility that he will be upset... or have a million questions... or suggest he take S even if he will be with OW...
IF and what ever he might say, say nothing other than "I need to think on that, I will let you know in a day or two" and then post here and we will support you to work on your new position.
