I had just begun to read your thread. In the meantime, I'll try to answer your question.
Originally Posted By: bustingout
When i think like that I feel like I have control and am almost calm inside. But then panic creeps in (the scared, weak negative me) what if he drops another bomb!? what if nothing I do will ever matter again?! what if its just TOO LATE?!
How did you get through that? Is it normal?
Yes, the questions and the fears are normal. The "whys" and the "what ifs".
To me, there came a point when I realized that I wasting time trying to figure out questions that may not have answers. Time that could be spent more wisely on myself. I needed to get to a place of happiness that was not dependent on anyone else.
Did I still question my W's decision from time to time? Yes, I did. However the more I focused on my life without being married to my W, those thoughts did not cross my mind as often. I had taken control of my life. As 25yearsmlc says, it is empowering.
As for the fears, I think it is human nature for us to think the worst. For the most part, our fears are worse than reality.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
