this rocky path WILL smooth out

[AlwaysTrying]

((zig))

I can really identify with being paralyzed because of being completely unsure what the right thing to do is. I have also wished that I had a clear straightforward philosophy about how I was going to react so that I could act decisively and with few regrets.

But it's all so messy. You can't actually follow all the advice you get. Even simple straight-forward things like LRT take a little finesse. Consider ces who did a fine job with LRT for so long, but really started to make improvements when he opened up lines of communication.

I have agonized over decisions and let the anxiety eat me up inside, but it is probably better to just make some decision and go with it. You can't know what the right best thing to mend your marriage is, but it's probably a lot easier to figure out how to best treat yourself with respect.

You're probably right that it is not time to introduce OW into S's life. You should explicitly set that boundary.

I think by being flexible with your schedule, you are enabling H's affair, and that is not something you should be putting yourself through. Maybe you can set a schedule and make it clear that sticking to the schedule is best for S, and that H needs to respect your time and schedule.

I think you can handle the affair with grace without aiding and abetting it. It's not OK. I don't think there is any reason to legitimize it. He should feel guilty and sheepish about it every time.