So, bomb drop anniversary is coming in about a month. I'm keeping busy because I don't want to really focus on it. It's a bad memory, like other memories of things that happen in life. I want to move on and not give it so much energy, but some times I find it creeping in.
H and I talked about what we want to do on that day. He wants to go out and do something positive like see a movie and dinner, or down to the river. I think what would be good is not to marker it by actually doing something positive to cover up the feelings. I guess that doesn't make sense but in a way it does. I asked H if he would be okay with just making it a usual day around here. Barbeque, maybe a redbox, and hanging out talking as we do each evening. Why do something special on bomb drop anniversary to try and placate the bad memory? Maybe I'm off but that's kind of where I am with that. If h insists that he needs to do something on that day then I will be happy to.
Still having some bad dreams off and on, but they are not affecting me as badly as they usually do. I'm shaking them off a little easier, rather than waking up and crying for 1/2 an hour.
I feel like h and I are in a good place right now. I'm really happy with how things are going between us, and we are learning a lot about our relationship.
Lately we are having a good time with each other.... lots of laughing, and I feel very blessed that he's here, and everything is okay for us.
