Few things feel better than knowing someone loves you / desires you / wants you / needs you. Letting go of that is extremely difficult, regardless of what else is going on. If you can keep it going with minimal effort, it's easy to do, despite the terrible toll it takes on the other person when you don't reciprocate.

Your pursuit and knowing that you're "there" provides them with great comfort. If you can make them begin to question that, you shake their foundation and they need to start to think. When you shake their foundation, they will wage an all-out campaign to keep you on the line, and that often feels to the LBS like a first step toward reconciliation. You get your hopes up, you pursue harder (give them gifts, make overtures), and they disappear.

That's the rollercoaster, up and down. It feels great and so hopeful when they try to pull you back in, it feels very real, and is so very much what you want to believe. Then they pull back and you're left alone again. The only way to win is not to play UNTIL there is NO QUESTION that they want to reconcile, and you'll know when that is.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015