Any chance to make it work? I need advice

[sweetbabyred]

So the other day H mentioned that his IC told him that he should read the book "Codependent no more". I told him I'd heard of it and could check it out of the library for him.

I'd heard about it on this forum, but was too busy reading all of the other books, and I really didn't think that this one concerned me. It did look interesting though, so I checked out two copies and just started reading it today.

I can see that H is codependent as far as finding friends that he feels he has to take care of, but I seem to be codependent as far as he is concerned.

I think that most people should take care of their problems by themselves, but I am so concerned about H and how he's doing. I'm afraid he's drinking too much because he's depressed, but I know he won't do anything about it unless he wants to.

I'm now on the chapter on detachment and I'm really feeling that this might be what I need to do. I can still be friendly toward him, but I can't keep giving him suggestions and telling him that I'm concerned about his drinking.

He may be depressed, but at least he's in counseling, so he is working on it. I saw a quote this morning that seems to ring so true now.

‎"You cannot save people. You can only love them" -Anaïs Nin

So as hard as it is, I need to let him live his life. He will make mistakes, but even if I could stop him, he wouldn't learn from that. When he's responsible for himself, he can then figure out what he wants. If he wants to work on the M, I'll be there, but if he doesn't that'll be okay too.