I used to have a very nasty temper... but I've worked very hard on not losing it anymore... I very rarely give orders at the fire station, I'm a lead by example type.. it doesn't have to be MY way, in fact I'm often very non confrontational, so I tend to say nothing when I disagree...
Did the temper involve hitting or throwing things? Were you drinking?
How often do you still lose it? I noticed a comment earlier about you having to "clean up the mess she made moving out."
I bring these things up because that's probably why she left. You've been together for 14 years and you've treated her one way for the majority of the time. Now you've suddenly changed and you want her to believe that things will be different.
That won't happen overnight, your changes must be for you, they must be for real and they must be consistent over a long period of time.
She has probably seen the changes but is afraid to believe them. She feels safer away from you.
Many of us are in the same boat.
Keep working on yourself, this could be years of work. Are you up for that?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
