this rocky path WILL smooth out

[zig]

thanks labug. i'm okay now -

friend came over (the wife of the guy who's h's closest friend right now, who reconnected with me a few weeks ago)

seems she's determined to hangout with me. i spoke to her about how if she felt that it was too uncomfortable then she needs to let me know and i'm ok with it.

after she and her daughter left here, they were going to meet her h and were invited over to see my h's new house. i think ow is still there...

the odd thing is that she really took the time today to shudder and tell me that ow was a piece of work. so far as to say something pretty derogatory as "she looks like she's been used up and hung out to dry, even though she is really young" she's cute but extremely short and worn out - as if she used too many drugs or slept around too much. i asked if her h had said that and she said yes.

now why did i need to know that ?- it's not as if i asked!!! friend offered to take a pic of ow and i said no way, i do NOT want an image of her in my head on top of everything else.

besides, i really don't care in a way - if h wants to do this, i can make it on my own. sure it hurts, but other things hurt too and eventually you work through the hurt and let it go.

this time is for me - and i think todays gentle kick in the backside was to remind me of that precisely - i can agonize over this, or i can start to see more clearly where i'm at and what i need to do. and what i need to do,is just keep putting gone step ahead of the other and move towards being who i am and what i'm about. for now, i'm just leaving him in the dust. if he feels like he can stand up, dust himself off and move forward

so yes labug - i'm feeling pretty positive here, because finally i am beginning to really trust and have faith - that no matter which way this goes, i DO trust that it all be just fine

hope you're doing well.

luckily it hasn't rained yet, so hopefully we get to play some more frisbee this evening after dinner

zig