+ Your anger. Yes, you are upset that your W is not wanting to "work on it". What ever you do, keep that to yourself and this board. She is not going to change her mind any time soon, if ever. We often call this a marathon because it can take many months, even years. So recognize your anger, figure out how to safely and effectively work through it... and then let it go...
+ Your kids. The ONLY focus around your nuclear family at this time needs to be around your kids. Provide the best environment you can when you are with them. DO NOT become their "disney dad", just keep things at LEAST as good as they were prior to the bomb and at best, take the time you have with them to create new, better, more engaged relationships with them.
+ Your expectations. Drop them. The sooner you figure this out, the sooner things will get better for you. You will have no "in" with your W. You will not "do or say the right thing at the right time" to magically make everything better. There is nothing that you can do or say that will change your W's mind. She will do that on her own if she chooses to. There are no tactics, here. Once you figure this out, your W will have the space she needs and she will not feel that pressure from you and maybe... just maybe... she'll give you a second look...
+ You've read DR. So do the introspective work. Figure out what you did "wrong" or what you could have done better. Become the best man and father that you can be. GAL and 180s will be for you at this time and for quite some time in the future.
