and suddenly the whole world opened up for me in a different way. that i COULD go there if i chose. that there WERE other people that appreciated and wanted to be with me. and most of all - that i could determine my own life and where i went and what i chose to do.
the lesson i got from it though was slightly different. as i daydreamed about it, i realized that i didn't need to go all the way to france - that i could create my own france right here, right now - that it was how i felt and what i did, exactly where i am that i could change - not changing the place and the people. and that "the idea of france" would come to me when i was ready for it.
so bloom where i'm planted. a friend said that to me years ago - and i never got it. it's taken this incredibly painful, incredibly amazing situation to show me what that really means, and what i have to do to effect that.
zig
^^this is lovely and worth reading and re-reading. though i would take them up on at least a VISIT to france
