I got a little good news. I have 2 indigo classes on the calendar for this June. I get paid $150 a class, for 7 hours. Then I was asked to do do a lecture on indigo, which also pays $150. So I am making progress with getting out there as an artist and teaching.
I have managed to eat dinner serarate from STBXH every night this week. I am one busy gal! This GAL stuff isn't for sissies!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Wendy, I'm proud of you! Keep up the good work! You definitely are going to be a busy bee in the weeks to come.
How is your friend doing these days?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My friend went back to work! Teaching sailing. I think she is pushing it, but I'm not the boss of her! (That is what she told me!) I am having dinner with her family tonight at the mongolian BBQ at Camp Smith.
Wish I could post photos here, the view from there of Pearl Harbor takes your breath away!
I spent time today on the phone with the lawyers office. Either they are confused or me. I had to keep going over what was written down by me. The lawyer thought he was having a heart attack and left my first meeting. Evidently he and I need to finish our talk. Because I still have questions and all the paralegal keepts telling me is how they will charge me for any changes.
And I am telling them I haven't even read what you have written down to proofread it, why are you talking about changes? Then I reminded them I was the one in the office when he thought he was having a heart attack and went to the emergency room. Then they said he needs to call me. Yepper.
Waiting for that call.....
My boys and granddaughters are going to Mongolian BBQ with me. My DIL is working tonight.
Hope everyone is well!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Last night got a little messy. My STBXH got home from work before we left for dinner. And my granddaughters started begging and pleading for "Papa" to come along. Not helped by "Papa" saying like a child: "Well I guess I'll go out to dinner, too."
To which I answered: "I don't care what you do. Just tell me if you plan to go out so I don't cook food for you."
I was meeting my friends for dinner, and none of them care to hang out with him any more. I really didn't want him along, either. He has turned his back on our former friends. And tho I find it hurtful, I can't change what has gone on.
It actually was one of those nights where I would have been just as happy to stay at home. My friend is a great gal. But she always invites everyone she can think of when we do things. So there are many people there and not always folks I care to spend time with.
My friend tells me I am the bossy older sister type. That may or may not be true. But I do know in her group of friends the bossy type prevails. There were 3 different people telling my older granddaughter how to eat, drink, walk and talk. I finally told them all that her father was sitting right there and that I thought it would be nice if everyone let him correct her. She is little, almost 5.
Anyway, I work up tired today. I need to get lots done, so enough playing around!
Hope everyone has wonderful days!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
I don't know why, but I just want to pick a fight with my STBXH. he is working hard on clearing all the b oxes I'm packing. He even packed a few himself, because I'm not moving fast enough.
I am super depressed, fighting it as hard as I can. In yoga class I was so overwhelmed today. But them the instructor had us do partner poses, and a 26 year old marine who always jokes with me was my partner. So that distracted me. And today I learned I can almost do a backbend by myself. Can do it with a partner. Laughter is the best medicine.
I am thinking that maybe the huge task of moving is getting to me. And I was looking at rentals and they stink here, STINK! I would do better to buy, and that wraps me back around to long term. Of course with the prices as depressed as they are I don 't even know why I'm worried. STBXH has a magic number in his head that he won't go below on the house.
And who knows if we will get that. Anyway, back to packing. I am going to my friends daughters engagement party tonight. I'm starting to think I should leave early before I cause trouble.
Anyway, I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Honey pie - You are holding onto that crust of bread, when the universe is trying to shove a whole ham sandwich into your hands. It might be time to let go of the crust of bread. I'm just sayin'.
So at the engagement party I ended up talking with the nice young man who is going to marry my best friends daughter.
He is divorced. And just a great guy. He was telling me about how hard he held on to hope. And about how much better things are/were for him after getting divorced.
I am trying to let go of the crust. Guess I should feed it to the birds!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Wendy, drop the rope. You are holding on too tightly and aren't allowing God to do his work. Packing up a home when you really don't want to move or get a divorce are very stressful. Your h is living in a fantasy world right now and thinks that the "happyland" is across the fence, but it's not and he will soon discover that when he's out on his own. For one thing, you will not be around to ensure that his home life is running smoothly, nor purchasing groceries for him. He will discover that there is more to life than working a job and coming home and asking "what's for dinner?"
Wendy, the gentleman you met last evening is correct. Once you drop the rope and move on w/your life, you will be happier. I'm not saying that you'll be happier w/a divorce, but for me, once I got over the hurdle of divorce, the weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was finally able to put my entire focus back on me and move on w/my life. The stress of dealing w/my xh were mostly over and now, 10 years later, I can deal w/my xh in a different manner and I don't like something he texts me about, well...the delete key is now my most trusted friend. Time is a great healer and it will be yours as well.
I want to leave you w/one piece of advice, move at your pace and not his. Do what you need to do to keep your stress level as free as possible, walk away when things get to you and above all, take time to do the things that you like to do and pamper yourself when need be.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly! I read your post this morning, looked out and the tide was super low...... It was early here, not even 7 yet. So I went over to my two favorite beaches for an hour. Came home, still down. STBXH was talking to me about our plans for the day. OW calls, he takes the call and never finishes our conversation, just grabs his weed-eater and goes out to work.
Then my oldest son shows up with the girls, asking me to babysit tonight. When he tries to leave his oldest throws a king size fit, because she wanted to be with me. I told my son she can come with me to do my errands.
I'm off to drop a check at the marina, they raised the rent! Drop tires at the marina, they use them on the docks. Then to get some boxes from someone on Freecycle. I suppose GD4 and I will HAVE to get happy meals, too.....
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
At the point you are at in the MLC journey, there is no way to completely get rid of all the stress you are experiencing. Let's face it, you are in the "going through hell" phase. It is a matter of managing what is thrown at you and you are doing an awesome job. At times, you have to let yourself grieve, feel down, etc... That is part of the process. You can stress yourself out even more when you have expectations that you should be doing well all the time. You are an amazing woman and an example for many. Your Ml'er is a complete idiot to let someone like you go and he will realize this later than sooner.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
