Is it over after 28 yrs??

[sandi2]

By being tough with her, I mean that you need to make sure you always show a backbone b/c she doesn't respect you. She'll never want to have a MR with you unless she feels strong attraction for you as a man. She's not going to do that until she feels respect for you as a man, a H, and a father.

I think a lot of couples have trouble when the man is "laid back" and the woman has a strong will or personality. The reason is this: A woman with those tendencies will see her H as being passive and weak. She bosses him around or takes advantage of his easy going nature. No woman respects a man who won't stand his ground with her.

I don't think men see this in the beginning. He thinks it is easier to avoid conflict and just let her do what she wants, or say what she wants without him confronting her. He sees it as letting things "roll off his back" when she says something that isn't very nice. But in reality, she's stepping on him. The longer he goes and doesn't stop her in her tracks....the more she will say & do that just makes him appear like he's a doormat.

"I am more laid back than W (lazy is how she put it)
W is very strong willed, me not so much."

See what I mean? She sees you as being lazy! Lazy at what? Doesn't matter if you put in long hours on the job if you don't fill your role at home/family/marriage relationship. When she says you're lazy......she's really saying that she doesn't respect that in you.

My H was always extremely easy going and I was over-bearing at times. I really didn't intend to be like that....but when a man won't make a decision or say anything....most women will do it for him. That's not good! She begins to see him as being too weak to be the leader of the family, and therefore, she takes over in most areas.

I've made statements in the past that I still believe. I know I have old fashion values, but I don't apologize for them. Society may have changed and R roles may try to change....but human nature doesn't change. God made women different from men and it will always be that way.

I'll use this for an example: You can be a stay at home dad and she can bring home the bacon, but if she doesn't see you as a strong masculine male who lead his family, she won't respect you. She'll treat you more like you're the hired help. The manner in which she speaks and her attitude toward you will lack a tone of respect. Next thing you know, she's saying things in front of the kids, or others, that's a put-down about you.

So......continue to be polite, and even be nice if possible....but you don't want you to misinterpret your niceness. When you talk to her, you make statements like "I have decided" that shows her you are in charge of your life and that you intend to make sure your children are a part of that life. I'm not saying to get into a fight with her over anything. In fact, you show calm and self-control....but not in a passive way. You look her eye to eye and don't let her have the reigns like you have done in the past.

I know it must be hard when you desire to continue a M with her. I know that most LBH's fear pushing the W away. But if she doesn't respect you, she's already gone. Let her see you as a man she can respect and want to be with the rest of her life. You won't win her back by giving in to whatever she wants. Stand up for yourself.