Thanks SS it's very hard sometimes. My knee jerk is to say screw this I'm not going to sit at home while he's out with her and putting it in public. (and then I think that he probably felt the same way)
but I also think that this is what I'm trying to change. It's not a race or a competition. I'm also trying to teach myself not to define myself by my R. That part of my life isn't my whole life. I need to figure out how to be Me and that me will be the same me in M, in a R, or on my own.
It's hard. I never would have thought you could be addicted to love in the same way as something else. But that's how I feel...it's the same way I felt when I struggled with food issues, with quitting smoking, etc. I've conquered those I can learn to face this. Something happens and you want to throw in the towel or you want to lash out.
It's hard because the thing that I'm fighting against is also part of a goal. Not lashing out is putting my feelings second.
Quote:
Understand that your fear is based on an expectation of punishment-you believe it’s inevitable that only bad things will happen.
I really like this. It's true. Fear is because I'm not believing in a positive outcome or that I deserve a positive outcome.
