My story started March

[LIO]

I-Care,
I struggled with the 180's, but like you, I struggled more so with the no contact. Then it was like a switch went off for me. I realized what everyone was telling me was true. HE was asking for space and I was crushing him with too much attention.

So rather than call/email multiple times, I may go 3 days IF I email him. I see H when he comes over for S, but don't engage in personal conversations every time. Sometimes it's just "Oh hey H!" and then I get on my merry way. I don't always pick up the phone, and I don't text.

H has taken notice of this. He is paying attention to the times when I do talk.

Think of it being more mysterious and that seems to work a bit. Also when you GAL, you get more excited about life, and that in a weird way is always attractive to anyone, but most importantly, it does you good to get out and keep yourself busy.

But long story short, the no contact will get easier for you, but you have to make a effort to do it. I sent myself an email that said "Do not call, do not email" as the header, so everytime I open my email to 'write' a manifesto of feelings to H, I don't. Or if I feel like I need to get something out, I come here, or send an email to myself. It does seem counter-intuitive, but your spouse does NOT want to hear about everything they are doing wrong, or what you will do to 'fix' it. I am a fixer too. It's easy to fix others, and not ourselves, so SHOW your spouse, don't TELL them