Forgiveness

[antlers]

Hi 2tp.

I'm really doing my best under difficult circumstances. I've been reading some Zen philosophy to try and get a more healthy perspective on things. My son is in crisis...he's been diagnosed by 2 different psych. MD's now with ODD, in addition to depressive disorder, anxiety, and poly-substance abuse...marijuana, Lortab, Roxicet, Xanax, PCP, inhalants, cocaine, triple C, and alcohol. He's been arrested twice and now has 5 charges pending against him. I took him to a children's recovery center after I got him out of the juvenile intervention center, and he was in CRC for 7 days. He got out them had to go back that same day because of continued problems. After 2 more days he was transferred to an acute care facility 100 miles away and he was there for 8 days, then released because insurance wouldn't approve more. His mother has fought me every step of the way. She has used these events to turn my kids against me and endear them to her. I have been on the receiving end of the most awful verbal abuse from both kids. And their mom has just displayed pure hatred toward me throughout. Her hatred toward me outweighs any love she has for our kids. Her hatred toward me is detrimental to our kids. I've seen it firsthand for a long time now, but especially recently. My daughter is mostly living with a friend. It's still up in the air what the kids are going to do when their mom moves back to Texas. Son vacillates between wanting to go with her or stay with me...daughter doesn't say much at all about it. I'm trying to get my son the help he needs but it's been one hell of a difficult situation. I still pray and ask for God's guidance throughout.
Why am I sad that she's leaving?