Let me put it this way.

If your H stopped falling asleep during movies (and therefore did not snore) and he stopped eating off your plate...

Would you suddenly love him to the end of the earth...?

I kinda don't think so...

This remains NOT about your boundaries NOR about your H's distasteful or disrespectful or whatever label we could put on your H's behaviours...

I remain convinced that this sitch is about you not knowing what you want...

Your plan, if I'm not mistaken, remains trying to keep the M intact until your S graduates...

I don't think your H changing will change your viewpoint...

unless he became "perfect" in your eyes... meaing molding him to be the person you want him to be...

Which is contrary to DB...