Bklyn, ss, unb, ad thanks so much for your words of support. I will sort this out with my son and make sure he is OK.

However, right now, I need to share another punch in the guts, and more worry about what this is doing to my kids.

Background to my sitch is that H has not admitted to being back on with OW since he moved out - and steadfastly maintains he is not living with her (pretty much a couple of blocks away from our home in the next, more up-market, suburb).

This morning H offered to drive S13 to his basketball game as D16 had netball scheduled on the other side of town at the same time.

When I got home from the game, S13 reported that H had rung him before he was due to arrive this morning to ask "If Mummy and D16 had left yet?"

When S13 said we had, H pulled into the driveway in about 2 minutes, driving a silver Mercedes convertible.

When S13 asked him about the car, H said it was the last one in the driveway at his mate's house and thus easiest to get out so early in the morning. When S13 asked him if he liked driving it, H said: "It's a bit of a girl's car."

Now, I know that OW drives a Mercedes. And S13 twigged that what H had told him was a lie - as he knows that the mate and his male friends would never drive such a car.

I find it hard to believe H is treating us with such obvious contempt.

He must know that S13 will tell me - does he want us to know but doesn't know how to broach the subject?

I know that the OW is part of the mlc script, but when you get hit in the face with it like this, just when you start to feel stronger and begin detaching, it really sets you back.

Almost cried, thought about confronting him about what effect this BS is having on the kids, but then tried to remember that this is something H has to go through.

I know almost all of you guys have had to deal with this, too, so why should I be any different. If you can all continue in the face of such pain, why shouldn't I?

Just needed to get on here and let it out - and hopefully hear a few words about how to deal with this.

I'm tossing up between saying nothing and continuing to DB in the 'be pleasant, do not pressure, be the woman only a fool would leave' mode
OR
going completely NC and saying I think we should D as soon as possible.

This will mean instructing my lawyer to fight his claims over my assets in an aggressive way that will mean that a lot of dubious financial dealings around H's businesses will need to be put up for discussion.

Can't imagine there's much hope of coming back from sicking a forensic accountant onto H.

H is scheduled to return to help S13 with homework later this afternoon - once he has finished playing his game of football. So I will have to see him and act as if, I suppose.

This is so hard.

How easy would it be just to go for their balls and reveal them to all and sundry for the lying, cheating, pathetic adulterers that they are?

I can't believe he has left us for a woman who texted him when he first broke it off with her following my discovery of their relationship: "I will ruin your life".

She certainly has. And mine. And that of my 2 kids. And the lives of my elderly parents.

How I see myself running at them both, screaming: "Vengeance is mine: Hell hath no fury like a (good) woman scorned", as I extract my revenge...

H is not the only one living in a fantasy world at the moment it seems!