Indecision and the affair continues (part 3)

[Nblost]

Thanks Rogerio!
I've been very busy the last couple weeks. Went to my parents for Memorial Day weekend (H flew back on Sunday night and joined us, but I left after a couple hours to return home with my oldest D). I had a great trip this week for work.

No real update. H told me he misses me a couple times this past week. I've been cordial to him, but pretty "dim". It isn't really a strategy...I continue to feel detached and I also don't really enjoy our interactions. He says some nice things, but until he's willing to say his affair is over or there is any change...I just don't believe anything he says.

H also has a very unpredictable travel schedule that's becoming very annoying. I think one lesson through all of this is that H is a workaholic and I've never been very happy because of that. I had put a lot of my life on hold around his work and work schedule (not all his fault, I should have realized what was happening and made changes myself)

Kids are doing well. They really aren't very clear on what's happening because H is still in the house. (I've continually asked him to move out but he won't...his latest excuse is that rental prices here go down in September so he'd like to wait until then)

I think H may be starting to realize what he's losing...but sadly, he can't verbalize anything and he won't do anything brave to try to save things with me or with the kids.

I did find evidence (found an old phone bill in the bottom of a pile) that showed H was texting with OW a year ago at this time. Their PA didn't start (I don't think) until early August of 2011...but the EA probably started a year ago from now. Doesn't really matter except to highlight how long this has been going on and how many chances H has had to try to make things right.

I'm keeping in touch with the guy I met in January...we've seen each other about once a month. We're taking things slow and both have major schedule issues with our kids (and are both prioritizing kids over anything else right now). I've also continued to meet a range of new friends. I can honestly say that for the most part--life is good. I feel lucky to have a great family, friends, career, my health, etc.

There is light at the end of the tunnel!