I admire you for putting the kids 1st but as Gabby's mom says...you are like her permanent plan B...when her friends are busy or she is lonely or doesn't want to sit or do something alone, you are the one she turns to
if you are Ok with that, and want nothing more, then that is great
if you are looking for something more, you will need to change up the pattern
if that means that you say you are waiting for someone else to sit by (even if you aren't) or you make a beeline for the bathroom when you see her walking toward you or whatever, that's what you do
it might mean you have to be blunt and really brush her off
or
if you are Ok with being plan B then keep it the way it is
I am just not sure it sounds like you even want more, which is why I am asking
