Forgiveness is the hardest part, but most important.
A friend told me something the other day regarding his parent's D when he was younger.
He said his father told him that he wanted to come home to his mom. But he felt like he screwed up so bad with the OW that he was scared to come back. He didn't know if he hurt her too bad and if they could overcome it.
Instead of coming home and trying to reconciled, he took the easy way out and walked away.
It is a natural emotion. How many times have you heard stories of kids that run away and don't come home because they are too scared of what they did? How many lives were lost because someone thinks they screwed their life up so bad they can never get it back, so they end it?
The one thing I try to let my Ds know is that no matter what they do, no matter how bad they screw up, that I will always love them and not to be too scared to come to me when in trouble. My oldest D is 13 now. In a blink, she is going to be in high school. She is going to do what I did in high school. I am trying to hammer it in that she can always come to me, no matter what. Do not make a mistake like drinking and driving because she is too scared to call me for a ride because she thinks I will be mad.
By no means are we accepting their behavior. We are letting them know they have a safe harbor.
Regarding the sleeping in the bed, it is just a bed (at least that is what I am convincing myself). If my W and I reconcile, "our" bed is going in the trash and I am buying a new one.
M-40 W-33 D3, D4, SD13 T 9 YEARS M 5 YEARS ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012
