That writer [Frank Pittman] is a class act and right on the money - he also makes the point that men do not usually leave unhappy marriages. It has to be very bad for that to happen. They are more likely to leave good marriages because they think there is something better. And my own work is indicating more and more that MLCers fit a certain psychological profile, which is one of the reasons they all say and do the same sorts of things. Add in a generous dose of youthful damage - which with their particular profile they are unlikely to have dealt with, as it is not their way, and you have it.
Some people are particularly good at creating a false reality and living in it, and that is what MLcers do. That is why I believe that MLC occurs at stress points in people's lives - they want to escape from the reality that is confronting them, and live somewhere else. They cannot understand, when 'true' reality knocks them from time to time, what is going on, and they become confused [Brookie's xh] or angry [your and mine xhs] Because it isn't like the picture/soap opera that is running in ttheir head.
It is part of the same dysfunction that causes most of them to be full on attention seekers, to the point that many therapists see them as narcissistic if they get within a 100 yeards of a therapist, which most of them either avoid, or go to and pay games, because they don't want to change.
That is a keystone of a MLCer - resistance to real personal change. They will create story upon story to shore up their false reality. Right now your xh will probably say about the constant fighting with OW something like [and I am guessing here] 'All couples have their differences' rather than face the fact that this is dysfunctional continued conflict. Of a type I suspect he never had with you. He may even try and persuade anyone who will listen that it is healthy to scream and shout at each other.
For all practical purposes, in the emotional department they are nuts. They may function at their jobs etc, but they are toxic emotionally, to themselves and all who are in contact with them.
