I am SO sorry you're going through this. And I do think she's taking advantage of her awareness that she's basically the "only game in town" aspect.
Probably her agency runs as well as it does b/c of her toughness in a management capacity -- but obviously since everyone else who has to deal with her in any ancillary capacity regarding Ryan -- agrees with your assessment - it is clear she DOES have very poor people skills.
She runs her business like a drill sergeant -- and clearly expects you to respond like one of her employees rather than as HER employer.
You are frustrated b/c you don't have many options in your new area and she knows it. But you also know that as a caregiver your mental health is vital to Ryan's well-being. And you're strong enough and masterful enough to handle her with kid gloves.
I'm not exactly clear why she expects you to be so available to her during the day -- as that is why you're paying people to care for Ryan so you CAN have some time off.
Is there any reason why you have to always take her calls? Could you tell her that you will be having a new schedule -- and that you will only be available to speak with her at 9 AM for example unless it is a true emergency?
You don't owe her any explanation as to why your schedule - life will now be more regimented - but you certainly DO have the right to set up boundaries for yourself.
You can say you're writing a book or taking up meditation at your doctors insistence -- and you need the total freedom from phone calls distractions etc.
And no matter what you're really doing which BTW is NONE of her damn business ... you do not need to be at her beck and call.
I understand the precariousness of your situation that you must not get her angry at you or alienate her b/c she could just "fire" you and leave you in a lurch.
But you need to come up with some plausible reason why you will no longer be available to take her calls all day long.
And just what is she calling you for and asking you to do?
Just reading about this makes me so upset for you.
I do agree with Josh that for now put up with it -- and come up with a Plan B ... I wish I had the answer but the limited options in your new area make it very difficult.
