Go Disney! Not irrational at all. Sounds like something I would do and then be accused of being argumentative.
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FWIW, I believe he hurled that barb your way out of a sense of pain and frustration -- he doesn't understand why you have such an issue with that, because he doesn't have an issue with it. Making that comment was his attempt to be "right" instead of being happy, by making you look petty and unreasonable. If he felt loved and accepted, he wouldn't do things like that.
So somewhere in his mind, his making me look petty and unreasonable will get him the love he wants from me? This sounds like you described your dad. (I'd love to spend some time with your mom and learn how she copes.)
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That's why sometimes I believe you have to have a disproportionate reaction to a boundary violation, and you have to be 100% consistent. If you're not, the boundary isn't credible, and if the consequences aren't meaningful, then the boundary isn't respected.
And simply refusing to go out to eat with him doesn't fit that bill? There's other things to do besides eating out together. Shouldn't that set a precedent for other things/behaviors? I think it should, it doesn't, but then I haven't found anything that works.
