So much to say, So little room

Print Thread

Re: So much to say, So little room RoofTop #2250214 05/31/12 09:00 PM
Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 2,609 Likes: 1 Rocky Mountains T TSquared2 Member
TSquared2 Member T Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 2,609 Likes: 1 Rocky Mountains	Quote: I told her about how my wife resents me, my trying to make things work frustrates her, her feeling stuck, the determination to leave because that's the only thing she's sure is the answer for making her feel better. The lady I was talking to said that she said all of the same things, that she often still feels that way and that she knew she said them at the time because that really how she felt. But each day was different and even though she still feels that way much of the time, she finds that some days she's more grounded and knows she's being rash. My W could have/probably did say/feel that a few months ago with her cyber "friends"...she appears to be in a completely different place now (maybe even accepting that she isn't "getting younger", big issue with her)...so you can't know where this will end up. Quote: I'm not holding out for my wife to stay, but I can't help but hold on to the thought that maybe she will not move out. Ok, that is step 1...let's say she doesn't move out, then what? My W tried the "stay married but have our own separate relationships outside the marriage" thing...that wasn't acceptable to me. I focus(ed) on step 1, but envision(ed) step 2, 3, 4, etc...I stayed for the kids, my love for her AND because somewhere inside I didn't buy it that we, as a loving couple, were done. What is your most desired outcome if you could determine it? What does your gut/intuition say, once you quiet your mind/ego? Quote: It's another thing that does make me unhappy. The thought that everyone thinks I'm angry all the time. I don't yell or raise my voice. I don't sulk or mope, but I'm constantly treated with kid gloves and it drives me batty......Even my son starts off conversations with "Don't be mad" or "I know what you mean about OM". What the heck is talking about?! I have read that through our M, we "train" our spouse and kids how to react to us, so maybe there is a history of expected behavior from you...that is something I really had to look in the mirror about....I "thought" I was one way, but my kids and W really know me and my SUB-conscious clues. For me, it ended up that I was still sending off mad/frustrated/hurt vibes that they had no trouble picking up on, ESPECIALLY W...as much as she "hated" me, was "done" with me and us, she was really well tuned into me, all the time, she even called me on my faking it. Therefore it was "more of the same old" from T^2, I really hadn't changed or "got it"... Once I truly started detaching/letting go, truly started letting her cyber/RL affairs go and run their course (and they did), I changed for real, and the kids and W changed how they interacted and responded to me. I also learned that when I wasn't doing too well with detachment, I either went as dim as possible and/or just straight up told her..."W, I am not doing well with detaching today, just thought I would let you know in case I seem distant or whatever...". Just a thought. You have as much stamina/resolve/etc as you choose, sometimes you have to choose it hourly, daily, etc. Just my thoughts, YMMV... T^2 In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm

Entire Thread
Subject	Posted By	Posted
So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/29/12 04:48 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	Jack_Three_Beans	05/29/12 09:22 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	BeingMe	05/29/12 09:37 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/30/12 03:26 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/30/12 04:14 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	BeingMe	05/30/12 06:17 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	05/30/12 07:16 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	05/30/12 07:52 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	canadianMrs.	05/30/12 08:54 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/30/12 09:35 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	05/31/12 03:35 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/31/12 07:31 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	05/31/12 09:00 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	05/31/12 10:22 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	05/31/12 10:55 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	Jack_Three_Beans	05/31/12 11:40 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/01/12 03:52 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/01/12 05:06 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/01/12 05:23 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/01/12 08:18 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/02/12 04:44 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/02/12 04:46 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/03/12 05:06 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/04/12 12:15 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/04/12 05:14 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/04/12 01:40 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/04/12 02:00 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	06/04/12 02:24 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	seeking answers	06/04/12 08:17 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/05/12 08:56 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/05/12 09:14 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/06/12 04:55 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/10/12 01:53 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/10/12 05:28 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	kml	06/10/12 05:56 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/10/12 03:01 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/11/12 08:06 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/12/12 08:44 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/13/12 08:07 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/14/12 11:59 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/15/12 12:03 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/15/12 05:48 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/15/12 10:13 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	06/15/12 01:15 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	seeking answers	06/15/12 02:40 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/15/12 03:10 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/15/12 03:34 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/16/12 04:59 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/16/12 01:06 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	Kimmerz	06/16/12 04:57 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/17/12 03:53 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	Queen_of_Swords	06/17/12 04:05 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/17/12 11:37 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/18/12 04:18 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/18/12 09:32 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	dl443322	06/18/12 09:55 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	dl443322	06/18/12 09:57 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/18/12 11:11 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/20/12 08:13 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/20/12 08:58 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	BeingMe	06/20/12 09:47 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/21/12 04:14 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/27/12 01:18 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/27/12 01:40 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	dl443322	06/27/12 02:43 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/27/12 02:51 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/27/12 04:45 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/27/12 05:14 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	TSquared2	06/27/12 05:36 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/28/12 01:31 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	06/30/12 03:53 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	06/30/12 02:33 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/02/12 02:34 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/02/12 06:23 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/03/12 03:28 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/03/12 06:59 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	labug	07/04/12 04:30 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/08/12 09:24 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/09/12 12:08 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	07/09/12 02:49 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/09/12 08:45 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	07/09/12 09:49 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/11/12 12:08 AM
Re: So much to say, So little room	tested metal	07/11/12 01:38 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/11/12 03:21 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	AJM	07/11/12 05:10 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/11/12 08:23 PM
Re: So much to say, So little room	RoofTop	07/13/12 08:55 PM

Moderated by Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis

Link Copied to Clipboard

Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis So much to say, So little room