The only thing I have seen from my ex is more crap behavior. I have had enough and have been telling her that I am done taking the blame for her problems. I don’t think I have been DBing lately and for some reason I just tired of the push pull crap.
She has been telling me that she is moving to Texas to be near her parents and I told her that we have 50/50 custody and I don’t think that is going to work. She lives in the family home her choice and according to the decree she is responsible for making the payments until it sells. She told me that she is moving July 15th regardless if the house sells or not. She says it’s my problem after that. I have been patient with her and walked away every time I started getting angry. I told her that I thought she was being unreasonable and she needed to take care of her responsibilities before she tries to move. She just gets angry and tells me that I dumped the house on her. I didn’t her and her lawyer decided what she wanted through arbitration. So she asked me Monday to tell her what I thought she should do. I being me, like to think things out and this is what I sent her today. I should have probably asked for advise before I sent this. Oh well what am I going to lose my wife? Lol!
Ex W,
You told me to tell you what I wanted you to do in life. I don’t control you and you know what? You do need to hear my thoughts. Well I am going to give you a couple options and you can decide.
Option one. You can stick with your plan and move to Texas. I would recommend that you consult your attorney before you do anything that could have potential repercussions. I also believe that as unstable as you have been that I will have D 13 live with me during the school year. We can meet half way through extended periods of time off from school so you can spend time with her. I think she deserves a stable parent, that is thinking rationally about life and right now I feel I am the best option for her at this point. I will be the one that provides the safety and security for both my daughters and granddaughter and you can go and try and figure out where your priorities are in life. I am not willing to change my stance on this option. I am tired of hearing everything is my fault and it’s about time you took responsibility for your own actions. I fought for 50/50 custody and I am not willing to settle for less. I am a dad first. If you prefer this option we can work out the details and I will have my attorney send it to the Judge.
Option two. You can stay here and go get some psychological help and get your life back on track. I will pay for you to go get the help you need. No I am not looking for anything in return I just feel I owe that much to our children. From my experience a therapist is not a bad route to help get over some issues in life. You already know you have been acting bat chit crazy and I think it’s time for you to fix yourself. It’s time to show everyone especially your daughters through your own actions that you are getting on the right track. You need to teach our daughters how to be a good person/mother again. You can take the steps to forgive yourself and start trying to get along with me enough that we can co-parent effectively. I am very willing to help you get your life back in order. I think our kids deserve a good mother again. If you don’t believe that you have turned into a person that your children do not respect. I would ask you to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself how do my kids view the new improved Ex W? Think deep and hard about that answer. Quit lying to yourself and justifying everything you have been doing. I know you are sitting there saying to yourself and he thinks he is Mr. Perfect. Nope I don’t think that at all. I know I have made plenty of bad choices, the difference is I am not afraid to admit to mine. I don’t justify crappy behavior and I learn as I move in life. I have plenty of things I could change to make me an even better dad. The good news is, that’s exactly what I want to do for our kids. I also decided that I am not going to be your whipping boy any longer. You will not blame me for the choices you made or make in life ever again. Those are your choices and you need to take responsibility for those choices. It has been long enough that you have been blaming everything on this guy. If you want people to support your decisions they need to be made rationally. Take the blinders off and look at the big picture. We all have opinions and you may not like mine, all I can say to that is, put your kids first. They deserve a mother that has her priorities straight.
We both have a vision and see things that happened between us our own way. Yours, mine and the truth. You may think that I am blaming everything that has happened on you and I want you to know, that I am not. You have some valid complaints about the things that happened in the past. I take full responsibility for the mistakes that I made and I forgive myself for making those mistakes, they are in the past and I can’t change them now. The past is a worthless thing to continue fighting about and I just don’t see the point any longer. Most people learn from the mistakes they make in life. I choose to move on and not let those types of mistakes happen in my future. You told me that you know so much more now about life/relationships that you are dangerous. You know I feel I have learned quite a bit about life/relationships and what’s truly important in life. I also know that life experience is important so a person can grow and flourish. You only see me as an angry man that has hurt you. I am not angry I just don’t think it’s reasonable for you to keep blaming your problems on me, you need to remember this is the road you chose to travel. I fought hard to fix things between us and you rejected me every step of the way. That is perfectly fine, you begged me for a divorce and it’s done. That was the one thing that has helped me the most in my life. I thank you for that. It has shown me a different prospective on life. I feared many things at first. Then I faced those fears one at a time and learned so much about the man that I truly wanted to be in life. He is a strong and confident man that loves his children. I know I am a good man and I know I deserve to be treated like a good man. I am not willing to put myself in the mine field and let you keep blowing up in my face. Everyone has their limitations in life and I don’t have to let someone treat me disrespectfully. I don’t need a person that is so confused they tell me one day let’s get back together, then a couple days later get out of my life. That was being immature and very confusing to our kids. I value our kids and myself way more than that. I know what I deserve and I will not settle for someone that just enjoys hurting me because they can’t figure out where the real issues are coming from. I think these options I have given you are the only ones available. You need to stand up and start thinking about the most important thing in your life, our girls. This isn’t about you or me or who did what to who. The immature blame game is worthless and it doesn’t have a place in my life.
You are entitled to think whatever you want about me and how I see things. I can’t worry about how you view me anymore. I have plenty of empathy for you and I think I really understand the battles going on inside your mind. I truly don’t see you as a victim. You are a grown woman and you must be held accountable for your own actions. You made choices and you really need to deal with them. I am a grown man and I am going to think things out before I make any decisions. I need my kids to see that I am a man that has their best interest in mind. This is the dad that is going to pick his kids up when they fall and try show them how to live there life to the fullest. They deserve someone that will teach them, instead of just giving up on them. If you don’t think that kids follow in their parents footsteps, just look at D 18’s boyfriend. I am sure his mom thought she made all the right choices in life also. You need to look at our daughters and see what they are learning. Is this how you want them to behave in life? I think it is time to show them the right path to travel. I refuse to respond to any hate filled or victimizing communications from you anymore. If you send that stuff again I will just delete any ignorant responses. So think this stuff out and start being honest with yourself. I would be happy to discuss anything as long as it remains civil and not unhealthy drama. That stuff is for teenagers not adults. You turned me into the person I am today and I thank you for that. I know my kids look at me a whole lot different and I like the man they see and call dad.
Seminole
I think I made her angry and she responded with this.
I’m sorry for blaming you. You are right; that was immature. I’ll be talking to my lawyer asap. I’m glad you’re who you want to be, so am I. Please stop controlling me. I’m in the driver seat for me and my kids/grandkids. Thanks for your support!!
I don’t know why but I almost responded with an “Lol”. I just have been getting so tired of her blaming crap on me that I just have had enough. I figured I am divorced and I am tired of the drama every couple weeks. D18 is living with me, has a baby and is pregnant with number two. Her boyfriend is on and off about every two weeks and it’s stressful. So I just think something has been building for a while and I finally said enough. I tried logic and we all know where that leads. So this stuff just kind of boiled out.
Have a good day.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
