Hey Crimson! In those same 9 months you were supposed to be detaching and GALing so that your opinion of yourself would not be tied to her actions. Keep detaching and keep GALing to heal yourself. Doesn't mean dating necessarily. YOU are not defined by HER.

In my opinion, you should completely forget the idea that you'll get remarried to her. Holding that idea as your primary goal has hurt your sitch and hurt you. Consider this. If you completely forget that goal and continuing being a great man and a great dad, she'll know exactly where to find you if she decides to try again. Stop working toward that goal - working toward it is moving you away from it.

Are you glad you got that letter of appreciation? It appears that it was designed to make you feel good about her memories of your relationship and to be a sort of peace offering, not an effort to get back together. That you took it as hopeful that she might want to reconcile, hurt you. Instead you could be glad that she doesn't hate you and take it as just exactly only what it was.

I hope you'll focus back on you and get your mojo back.

Best,

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.