Ok, I spoke to H's mother today. I know - breaking all the rules and all that - but I don't care at this point. I need info that I am not getting any other way.

So, it was a really good chat. We spoke for 1 1/2 hours and I got a very interesting perspective.

First of all, he told her that things were going back to normal now and that we were back together again. According to her, that was 3 weeks ago.

So, he thinks that having sex only is 'back together'. I don't get that at all. Nor did she. She thought we were at least dating again, or seeing each other regularly. I told her we barely talked. She was definately surprised.

She then said, "Ok, this is what I think the problem is. He can't have children and this is the way he is coping with it. I mean, it's nothing other than that. You've always been moody, always been a little jealous so if that is bothering him now, it's HIM who has changed. You haven't changed, so why now is he finding things that bother him? It has to do with the fact that he cannot have children and he is desperate for children."

She said she told him all this as well. That he talks to her for HOURS upon hours, and she knows how much he loves me, and as far as she knows there is no other woman. That he wouldn't be able to have another relationship anyway because it would mess with his head too much. So, she said, don't worry, I know that he loves you so, so, so much. He thinks you are so beautiful and loving too. Only your temper can get too much for him sometimes. Other than that, it can only be him. And, he is going through a midlife crisis because he can't have children."

"So, I advise you to be patient. How patient can you be? I'm confident that he will realise that you are the one for him, but how long can you wait? This could take years." She thinks he is depressed.

Gosh - I don't know how much longer I can wait. One of the reasons I called his mother was because I am at the end of my tether, and I was looking for something - ANYTHING - to help me go on being patient.

Afterwards, I emailed my H, and asked him to go to dinner. My idea was to communicate that I want more and deserve more now. A wake up call of sorts. It's been 2 years I need to snap him out and myself out of this land of limbo. Anything is better than this!!!

He emailed back saying that we can set a date for dinner , no problem, as soon as he gets back from fishing.