He is again messing with finances, and keeps blaming the bank. I am beyond frustrated today. I just emailed him a few times to attempt to straighten it out but I didn't get far.
Just checked with Domestic Relations and the complaint for support was filed on 5/25 but with the holiday I am guessing there is a delay. I can't see anything other than that, so will have to call the paralegal in my L's office later today.
He emailed me the 4 bills he intends to pay tomorrow but has yet to give me a dime for the kids (groceries, etc).
Breathing through it and knowing that we will be ok. I suppose this is just further confirmation for me. I don't understand why he does this, and I never will. I am just not that type of person. This is clearly not the person that I married
This morning he texted to ask if I would send something with the kids when they go to see him tonight. I agreed but it just confirmed something that I was already thinking. He still has everything here. He only took half his clothes and nothing else. He tells my neighbor that this divorce is not happening and he will be moving home, yet continues to party and carry on in the meantime (no work toward what he is saying at all).
I have decided that I will get some boxes and begin with my bedroom and box up his things to make the room my own. I know that I will feel/sleep better. The fact that his back up tapes for work were still here tells me that WAY too much is still here.
Did your original filing for divorce stipulate anything w/finances? Mine gave parameters.. And, IMO your L should have filed immediately for a temporary support hearing, so there were NO questions about who was paying for what interim... Glad it's under way.
Obviously, all states differ...
Can't wait to get that on the books, and your mind free of the worry... for now!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Also, I think I'd make sure that you have a documented piece of communication, stating that ALL discussions involving decisions about the boys be made between the two of your FIRST. If you choose to discuss w/boys, it will be a joint decision.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
You're right it is simple as that, and I am trying to make sense of something that never will. Funny how I know it but seem to lose sight of it.
My original divorce filing does not stipulate anything along those lines mindfull. I took another look at them to be sure, and it doesn't.
Very frustrating but I now just wait. I have been documenting everything.
This afternoon he emailed me to say that he was contacting our sons college to tell them of the recent change to see if we are eligible for more aid, since son lives with me and I make much less than he does.
I laughed with a tightness in my chest, he sees it yet hasn't given me a dime for the kids
I laughed with a tightness in my chest, he sees it yet hasn't given me a dime for the kids
STBX: On xx/xx/xxx, we agreed that you would contribute $x,xxx,xxx.xx per week (note millions! LoL) to the "home account"/to me for use in the care taking of our sons. I haven't received it, and it's needed. I will need (the balance) caught up by xx/xx/xxx. Autumn Cc: Autumn L
He makes me angry.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Also, I wondered if you had restrucured your financial paperwork w/the university... Good. Make sure you have access to the requester, as well as copies of documentation regarding the matter.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Thanks Mindfull, I did something very similar yesterday and magically money was received this morning. He paid 4 of the bills that are due now and also gave money for the kids (in the joint acct so we both see it) Somewhat of a relief
Seems like it is always something, however.
This morning he emailed to discuss graduation AGAIN. We have already discussed it and decided on a restaurant as a neutral place.
He made it sound like S18 keeps bringing it up to him, which I found odd because he hasn't said anything to me. After speaking with S18 briefly this morning, STBX brought it up last night. It's one thing to try to manipulate me but to use the kids is disgusting.
I am gathering my thoughts and calming myself before I respond to him.
He is spending the weekend with friends that are less than desirable so that didn't help. He felt the need to tell me where he is going and with whom (I didn't need that information) and I know what he does with this group, which really didn't help. Sadly he has my kids looking up to this bunch and they were raving about them last night (so clearly it was discussed).
I don't feel the need to tell them details they don't need, but it makes me extremely protective about any time they may want to spend with this group. Makes me sick to think about it. Thankfully they are with me this weekend, so its a non issue right now.
I responded to his email finally with what I hope to be the best compromise, in the best interest of S18
Clearly he wants family and friends together (the reason is not important, although STBX will know VERY clearly not to do that again)
So I suggested that we can rent out space in our local restaurant and have everyone there. We have rented their room before and it works out well, is not expensive, will be neutral and I won't have the prep and cleanup. It is a win/win.
I expressed my frustration and the fact that he had no right to put S18 in the middle like that. I suspect it will fall on deaf ears but had to be said.
