Accuray, I read a lot of your posts and all I can say is, if you leave, your W is really letting a good man get away.
Agreed!
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
I think I'm going to give it until the end of June. If H is still doing the same thing, meaning, sleeping over at OW's, inviting her to family functions, not contacting me and not talking about reconciling then I am going to re-evaluate. And I will probably be moving forward by filing.
At that time, it would probably be best to use the LRT, right? Give him the ultimatum? I honestly know that I cannot go another 6 months doing this. Even to go another month is pure torture.
Granted, I will still have to hear about OW from my kids but then I can at least accept it, because I know that I'm not working towards reconciling anymore. So what he does with her, is his business.
What he's doing right now, is so blatantly disrespectful, especially after all the things that he's told me recently. I feel like I'm just being taking advantage of. I feel like in a way, I'm being a coward. Like my self-esteem is so low that I don't have the dignity to just move forward without him. It's getting to the point of being completely embarrassing. And to know that his family is on board and supporting it, is just downright maddening.
I am devastated by this everyday.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
Just to be clear, tell him that I'm going to file for D if he doesn't stop what he's doing with OW? Total LAST LAST RESORT TECHNIQUE.
Originally Posted By: verab754
If you aren't doing it already, why would you think that your current course of action would generate any changes in H?
I have no idea. It wouldn't. He is playing me.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
I forget what LRT is exactly per the book. It doesn't include ultimatums though, does it?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I am heading toward Divorce Central and I am in the LRT. Sometimes I think it is pushing H faster toward the OW and pushing him away from me but he is heading in that direction anyway. I am still acting "as if" and GAL because it does get his attention. I am not cold or mean to him, but I am trying to detach. It isn't easy and I hate the fact that he wants to be with OW and introduces her to the family and my kids and we aren't even D yet. It stings. So I know exactly how you feel.
If you file, JKS, you may be able to get a temporary order to keep OW away from your kids. Talk to a L and see what advice you get. I am off to my appointment shortly. Wish me luck!
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I know there's a section in the book that talks about giving the ultimatum but having to be ready to give it, because you have to follow through with it, otherwise, all respect will be lost.
I can tell you that I am miserable. I do want to give H more time to really allow him to show his true colors. He did tell me he wanted more time. I will give it, but like I said, I think only another month is the most I can do.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
