I'm a "helper" by nature and profession, so it definitely is difficult for me to witness someone's pain and not try to point things out or help save them! But, I am remaining mindful that H has his own demons to exorcise (as do I), and this is something he has to work through without my intervening. That's a 180 for me right there.
Other 180's I'm incorporating currently:
Spending time outside of the home; reaching out to others, getting out more and being with people socially. I've turned into a major homebody in recent years and H has even called me a "hermit" at times. Ironically, I used to be a social butterfly when H & I were first together and I realize disconnecting myself from others has been very unhealthy and unproductive for me.
Increasing my energy/motivation level through working out regularly and eating healthier. We both got very lazy over the years and I'm sure that my hermit stage had a lot to do with my lack of energy and decreasing sense of well-being.
Becoming more independent and self-sufficient. Taking care of household matters myself where previously I relied on H. I'm working on being proactive and refraining from asking H for help with various chores and learning to handle them myself.
Embracing ambiguity. I struggle with anxiety at times and can be very rigid with routines. I am calming down and starting to accept there are things I can't control and am striving to be more at ease with uncertainty.
M-40 H-39 M- 12 years T- 20 years Separation: 5-8-12; H says he wants to pursue divorce
