Optimistic...not hopeless! :)

[Accuray]

I guess the hardest part that I'm having is...if he thought it was so bad, why he did not communicate anything with me until he dropped the bomb and then I feel as if it was too late.

I can shed some light on that, as one who has been having WAS thoughts himself. The reason that the WAS does not tip their hand is fear. Telling you that they are unhappy with the marriage feels like stepping off a cliff from the other side, because your response could easily be "I'm not either -- bye!" and that's a scary prospect. As a result, it's much safer for the WAS to work everything out FIRST, and then drop the bomb, they cushion their landing, such that if you have the worst possible response, they're still going to be okay and have somewhere to land. That's why a few websites advocate a policy of "brutal honesty" in your marriage, because if you deal with dissatisfaction as it happens in the moment, then you'll see the trend and won't be surprised if the train is off the track.

Yes, I have been dark for almost two months now...except for signing papers the other day that needed to be signed, but I am still not emotionally detached from him in the sense that I still miss him and think about him often.

There's nothing wrong with that, and you're doing great! Honestly your ability to execute the LRT is amazing, you are among the best!

I mean, we were together, for 8 years...it's not supposed to be sunshine and roses all the time right?!?!

No, it's not, it's supposed to be work, but the work is supposed to yield a payoff where you both get your needs met. He knows that, to claim otherwise is just an excuse.

I just wish that was the magic potion that would change his mind..haha!

He noticed! You're laying on the best magic potion you can, keep it up!

Accuray