Point well taken, MB. I've let things disintegrate and got so caught up in things like work, caregiving for my elderly dad, etc. that I neglected H's needs. This is where I've failed and where change needs to be made on my part. Otherwise, you're right; why would or *should* he want to be with me?
I have been keeping a private journal to help me reflect, organize my thoughts and cope with all of the things that are happening, and in there I have begun a list like you mention.
I haven't been overtly flirtatious during this period...but I have been more demonstrative toward him, i.e. hugging him, giving him kisses. He hugs/kisses me back too. I don't go crazy during these affectionate moments, or initiate them every single time I see him, but it just feels like a nice and sincere way to express my love and let him know I *am* here and do care about him. Part of me is afraid of going overboard though...and I don't want to come across like I'm using sex/affection in a manipulative way. Does that make sense?
He is a Physical Touch LL...followed fairly closely by Acts of Service. I am Words of Affirmation followed quite closely by Acts of Service.
M-40 H-39 M- 12 years T- 20 years Separation: 5-8-12; H says he wants to pursue divorce
