i'm good. i'm fine. more than fine.

[labug]

Dear H,

Thank you for being my biggest support and my best friend for almost 12 years.

This may be the hardest letter I have ever had to write. My strongest feeling today is extreme sadness. Sadness that I have to write it.. sadness that we are here today.

H, i never intended for you to feel that I was trying to change you. I realize now that we have both been trying to do what we felt was best and there is nothing wrong with that. We made our decisions and choices to the best of our abilities with the information that we had.

I love you. Through the ups and downs.. I have always loved you. And now… I know.. that I love you enough to want you to be happy. To want you to find yourself and find out who you are. i may never be the woman you need me to be and you may never be the man I need you to be. And I love you enough to want you to find that. Someone who loves and supports you.. and inspires you to be an amazing man.

I don’t regret a moment of “us”. I wouldn’t do anything differently.

I really got lost over the years. I became a shadow.. and never felt like I was good enough. But I recognize now that it was never you that said it. It was always me. I was the one that convinced myself I wasn’t pretty enough.. or thin enough.. I was the one that convinced myself that I didn’t measure up.

I think we both know that our current situation is not working for me. t hurts me to see you struggling and feeling so lost.

We need to discuss the house. Figure out child support.. custody/visitation arrangements.. I’m hoping by doing that, it will be much clearer what your financial obligations are and that will make it easier for you to find your own place so that we can both begin to rebuild our lives for ourselves.. and with S and D. I love those 2 so much!

I want to see you succeed. I want you to find passion and your own happiness. I can honestly say that I have started to find mine. I don’t want us to become a hindrance in each other’s lives. I don’t want us to look back on our time together with anger or bitterness. It was a gift. I didn’t see it then. But I see it now.

I’m not sure where our story ends.. or maybe it’s just the beginning.. I don’t know. I only know that I feel ok with moving forward. I think you feel that way too.

Always,

BF

I can only imagine how hard this is for you.

(((bf)))