Optimistic...not hopeless! :)

[hopingandpraying]

Thanks, Accuray!

Yes, I have looked into the book "The Passion Trap" and have begun reading it. I do see both of us in different up and down positions. I honestly do not feel that I did not have a life outside of my H because I did. I went out, joined committees at work, and went to school at night to earn my Masters.

I guess the hardest part that I'm having is...if he thought it was so bad, why he did not communicate anything with me until he dropped the bomb and then I feel as if it was too late.

A part of me thinks that if I had someone I was interested in or was interested in me that things would be a little easier (I know...validation right?!?) BUt, I know it would not be that much easier because I'm still attached to my H.

Yes, I have been dark for almost two months now...except for signing papers the other day that needed to be signed, but I am still not emotionally detached from him in the sense that I still miss him and think about him often.

ANswering your last few questions are very hard..haha! I do know that I need to be more forgiving, but I really am not sure what I would do differently. I guess not be 'so available' for my SO.

IN R, I understand that the R goes through different phases of love, my H did not. That is one thing that he complains about...that we did not have this romantic love anymore (well at least not all the time). I mean, we were together, for 8 years...it's not supposed to be sunshine and roses all the time right?!?!

I'm just getting the summer blues maybe...I have summers off, so I know I'll have more free time to GAL and I'm not sure what I am going to do with it all since not everyone has summers off. I was really looking forward to spending my first summer off with my H and doing things on his days off and even our summer vacation that we started planning!!!

Now, I'll have to plan more GAL activities that obviously do not involve him.

I did just talk to a friend in which her H hung out with my H and he mentioned that we saw each other this past Saturday and my H said he was surprised that we were cordial to each other and that we were acting so normal! I just wish that was the magic potion that would change his mind..haha!