That thought has also crossed my mind (about STBXW trying to get into bed).
But over the last 9 months that we have been apart I have had a great while to think about what my position is regarding IF she wanted to reconcile.
Basically, we would have to start all over again.
1. That means no living together until leases are up (at least 1 yr.)
2. During that 1 year, I would accept dating exclusively only. This would give us a chance to reconnect.
3. Counseling would most likely be a must, for her individually and us as a couple. (not ruling out individual for me either).
4. All former flings must have ABSOLUTELY no contact with, including Facebook. Any hints of this and it is donesville for me.
5. She would have to agree to "trust with verification" and be understanding with it.
6. All issues regarding the A and previous issues leading to it would have to be discussed and resolved as much as they possibly could be resolved.
7. We would not live together until she/we have shown that there is a full committment to being faithful and to each other, to a reasonable degree. (Can't control everything but not bringing her back in just to leave again and further damage D1 and myself)
8. She would have to learn to fix her own messes.
9. She would have to aquire an internal locus of control as evidenced by the extinction of the phrase for example: "My baby is my life."
Those are just some of the things I have come up with. They may sound strict, but I am determined not to make the same mistake again with being too passive.
These are the things that it takes to have a relationship with me. It is not meant to control her, as she has a choice of with whom she wants to have a relationship.
M:35 W:33 M: 5 yrs. Daughter: 2 yr .7/11/10 D Final: 8/7/12
