Sounds just like my XW during the D process. They're (we both are) under extreme duress the whole time, wondering what the "other side" is thinking, planning, intending.
I coigned a term for XW during the heat of the sitch: VSV = venom spitting viper.
We are not our true selves under duress - remember that.
Things will calm down eventually, maybe not immediatley after settlement, but soon thereafter.
Good Luck Pic
I appreciate you checking in, Pickle.
I sincerely hope that I can stay strong and resolute on Monday itself. Talk about major duress.
Also couldn't help noticing that in your signature line, you didn't do a church annulment. What does that mean?
Then don't say anything. Have a totally stone poker face and just stare at her like you mean business. It will drive her nuts because she will know at that point that she can't control you.
Practice that stone face in the mirror. It works to get your mindset.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
UPDATE Had my son for the evening. I dropped him off at daycare this morning at 7 and his teacher asks me if I know that mommy will pick him up at 9am to the beach?
Of course I didn't, because (as some of you may recall) lately my wife doesn't communicate openly about plans anymore. I'm sure she'll tell me much later in the day.
I'm really glad our son is getting to enjoy the water and sand a lot more this year, but this "last to find out" nonsense has got to stop.
UPDATE Went to pick up our son as usual @ 3:59pm, rang the door bell, my wife comes out and asks:
"What are you doing here?"
M: What? W: What are you doing here? My parents are here.
[Her family are town for her graduation tomorrow and (I'm guessing) moral support and childcare for our custody hearing on Monday).]
M: Didn't we discuss that we won't be swapping days anymore and that I'll be able to take him to church tomorrow? W: I meant you come pick him up on the way to church. M: That's not what we talked about. You did not mention anything about me coming in the morning to pick him up. W: My parents are here so I'd like E extra time with them. I was understanding when your parents were in town. M: I asked you, I communicated when my parents came. You need to communicate. W: Okay so, what time will you be coming tomorrow? M: Well... W: What time do you need to be there? M: ...I'll be here at 8:05-8:10. W: Okay.
[I turned around and walked away]
Then as I drove home, I got the most interesting text from my wife @ exactly 4pm (time-stamped on my phone, at least):
"R u going to pick E up on the way to church tomorrow?"
Hmm, I see this from two different lenses:
a. She had texted me right before I arrived at her house, truly inquiring about tomorrow.
b. She sent it right after I left her house just so she has her bases covered in terms of the "communication" portion. Though, even if it was this reason, I'm not worried because if she were to present this to the mediator/court, her text was in the form of a question. A question the implies that she/we did not discuss tomorrow's plan.
It is probably best you consider it was possibility a).
It is possible that your W looked at the clock and noticing the time, thought about you as it would be the "normal" time you would have picked your S up and then realized she did not know what time you would be picking him up in the morning, since she had not discussed it with you. If you want, an admission by her that she did not discuss a change in plans with you, even though she somehow created a memory that she did.
