Sorry, perhaps I misunderstood your post. So you wouldn't stop being vulnerable to H or stop trying to make connections if it ended, because you would still trust yourself to be ok? The only thing that would change for you are your feelings for him?
(BTW, I'm not ignoring the rest of your posts. I'm just trying to keep focused and not sidetrack at the moment. I will definitely take into consideration your other comments ie. the CD's.)
