Have you thought of telling your in laws about your W's drinking problem? Maybe they can arrange an intervention without you.

In the case of your W, the ultimatum won't work. Especially due to the controlled substance abuse she's going through.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER