It is important that we uphold ourselves to our standards and not adjust them based on our partner's actions.

Reasons why I am not dating, because it wouldn't be fair to the other person. I would just be using them, which is something I do not do or condone.

Recently, the W asked me for money because she was going to be short this month with rent. I had recently told her our finances were split, separate bank accounts. If she wanted to have the OM stay over at her apartment and be around our Ds, then she was on her own. I did tell her I would "assist" her this month but no more.

I was ready to unload on her when we talked regarding the money. My reply to her initial text asking how much I was going to give her was to call me later in the evening or the next day before I had to leave for work.

I called my best friend for advice on what to say. I was on the verge of saying I would be here for her and if she left the OM, I would help her completely. My buddy told me I was an idiot and to shut up. Calmly tell her you would help this month and no more. She is responsible for her decision and she knows what the right answer is.

Not satisfied, I called the friend of the W who is helping me. As a female, I expected a different response, but she told me the same thing. Don't give her more than you agreed. Shut up. She knows the consequences of her actions. I wanted to tell my W what a bad person the OM was and how she needed to prioritize her spending.

Then the friend said something that got me.
"Do not say anything that you will regret. When this is over, have no regrets about your actions. Know that you always acted as a gentleman and didn't take any cheap shots."

The call never came. I received an apology text from her as I was walking into work about not calling. (She has been saying thank you and apologizing a lot lately).

When the money talk finally happened, it was quite easy. She accepted the terms. I was making an issue out of nothing.


Sorry, I get long winded and like to type. In the end, I am basically saying: Stay true to who you are

Do not do anything you know in your heart is wrong (dating without being fair to your date, insulting your spouse for their bad decisions)

M-40
W-33
D3, D4, SD13
T 9 YEARS
M 5 YEARS
ILYBINILWY APRIL 2012