I haven't got time for the pain

[tested metal]

Update about last night's visit. I will preface this story right away by saying that I am not getting my hopes up as I foresee her not being fully cooked yet, but possibly some improvement.

STBXW texted me after her work asking if I wanted her to bring anything over. I replied that I don't really have anything for entertaining, so if she wanted something to drink basically I have whole milk or water.

She offered to bring supper over. I replied that I was full from eating with D1 already.

STBXW comes over with a 12 pk. of Coors Light (my favorite beer) and a case of Dt. Coke (again favorite). After a couple minutes of uncomfortableness, and her checking out the pad, we crack beers and she asks me how my new job is going. I reply and inquire about hers.

She then informs me that she has noticed that I have lost weight (50 pounds in 7 months, and now she notices!)

After smoking a cigarette, which she provided, she shows me the apartments she is looking at tomorrow, but won't be ready until next month. One of them is in the next state. (We live on a bordertown so it is right next door).

I explained to her about how that may affect custody issues as well as her assistance, as she is not supposed to take D1 out of state. I made to make sure that I was not threatening her, just informing her of the law and that I had know clue how that would play out in court or how it may affect may legal rights.

She claimed she had no clue about knowing about the law, which I could see as true (She usually is uninformed about a lot of the things she gets herself into).

She then tells me that she finally broke down to MIL and told her EVERYTHING, about the cheating, getting beat up, losing apartment, etc. She said that she had a good talk with her and decided that she needs to make an appointment to see her doctor to up her antidepressants and she plans to see a counselor. This all came from her and not from me talking to her. I just listened.

I did not tell her either way what to do, which is a first. (YAY!)

We cracked a couple of more beers had a couple of more cigarettes on the balcony and talked about how much D1 has grown and shared parenting secrets.

It was a lot like having old W back, but she appeared a little more responsible.

When we decided to call it a night, she again asked if I would call her tomorrow with my decision. I told her I would, but need some time to think about it, so it won't be 1st thing in the morning.

She left the beer and pop for me and said happy belated birthday. At the door, she hugged me. A big bear hug (by her)that lasted at least a minute. She actually was sniffing my hair too. Then she looked into my eyes and kissed me. Not a peck mind you, more like a thanks for the 2nd date type of kiss.
She then asked me again to call her tomorrow regarding the decision.


Minutes later she texted "Thanks for a wonderful evening." "I forgot about your type of sense of humor ." "Have a wonderful night and a good sleep!"

When I wished her the same, she replied "I can't sleep, staring at the four walls." "It's not bad, mind is just racing."

So, I am hope that what she is saying is true, but not really believing it. I beleive that she is seriously thinking things over if her mind is racing... and I believe that it is as she had problems with this the last year we were living together.

Any thoughts? I am not reading into this at all. She is probably just trying to manipulate. I am going to start paying attention to her actions more closely though.