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[ces67]

Update...

The day together went fine. It was fairly comfortable spending the day together. It was not romantic. It was not engaging to any great level. We spent time together and talked about the kids and general stuff. Its an early step in the process of getting re-acquainted.

We spent all afternoon at the zoo, then went to dinner and then walked around downtown together and I showed her different spots or restaurants that she has not been too yet. She showed me a couple places where she had gone with some friends when they were in town.

This was sort of an early anniversary evening so I got her a gift. She had seen a summer dress at a fair downtown on my birthday. I had gone back and bought it for her and gave it to her last night. She seemed very appreciative of the gift and the fact that I had noticed and gone back for it. She smiled big and thanked me and said how much she liked it.

-Expectation alert- Here is where part of me was hoping for at least some type of hug as part of the thanks but it did not come. I had to reign in my disappointment pretty quick.

Today, W is coming to the office to have lunch with me and I am giving her a tour of where I work. Its a very interesting place and lots of tours are given each year. In the 2 years she's been here this is the first time she'll actually tour the place.

W is also doing a volunteer event with me next week which is a first since the move.

During dinner W asked me about my time off. There are 3 potential trips next year and she was asking if I would be able to join them for all 3. It was nice to be included and see that she is trying to work the schedule so I can be part of the travels.

So lots of good things. I am working to focus on these. I've looked over what everyone has said and I am reminding myself constantly not to rush this. I still see so many challenges and there are still little things that worry me and make me not trust my W. I'm not sure how to deal with those. Do I set them aside and let time work them out? (seems typical of my past behaviors) Or do I let my W know how I am feeling and what I am dealing with to try and trust her which could mean some hard conversations and set backs to our healing?

Again, many good things happening and this is all very new in the past few weeks. So I'm trying to figure out how to pace myself and work through the various uncertainties without expectations still.