I don't leave posts myself very often, but I read the majority of the posts especially the ones focused on MLC. They have been very helpful for me. I am 2 years post bomb, and 9 months into a physical separation. I have certainly experienced all of the emotions you describe here in your thread. I could not agree more with Snodderly's first line in the post above. The hurt is there because you are still allowing it to sting you. (I know this is a process and takes time) You can be in charge of how your spouse affects you, or you can be a victim. And the beauty of a decision to rise above the fray with dignity and grace is first for your own integrity, but the secondary gain, and it is huge, is to be a shining example to your children. This really is an opportunity of a life time.
Don't spend another nanosecond fueling her fire. For some reason the image of a bonfire has been the mental image that has worked for me. Fires requires a few ingredients. They blaze away splendidly when all ingredients are available, but take away just one of those requirements and the flames smoulder and die out. She has, in her mind, this exciting fire blazing in her new life, and every time you react to her, you fan her fire. Whether she knows it or not. This again is about you, not her. Take the oxygen away from her fire Tad and let her deal with the cold coals. You can do this through all of the suggestions above. It is very bad form, for her to pronounce to the world how wonderful her life is on face book at this time. Who does she need to convince of this "truth". I suspect she needs to do this to convince herself. (this all comes from the context that I am not a face book fan and believe it to be on the self serving side)
You will never ever regret taking the high road with your responses to her. Focus on the qualities of dignity and grace and integrity for yourself and you will be amazed at how strength and resolve and peace will emerge as a result. You can do this.
