Last Resort Technique - Can I correct problems?

[LostIn407]

Wow. Thanks for the posts. They are giving me confidence.

The last two days have been mini-victories for me.

On Memorial Day, I was taking the Ds to the beach. I threw out the comment she was welcome to join us if she wanted to. She said yes but she would take her own car. We ended up sitting next to each other for three hours just talking. No pursuing from me. No pressure. I had to fight the urge to ask about "us" many, many times, but I did it! She ended up staying the entire time. I think she wanted to take her own car so she could leave if I made her uncomfortable.

Today she had the oldest D setup a DVD player she got from her sister as it is her day with the Ds. She sent me a text asking if I could bring a DVD over for the girls to test the player after I was done working out. In the past, I would have rushed over there straight from work. Instead, I went home and messed around a bit, then mowed the yard. I got to her apartment and they were outside playing. They had just left the gym. I wonder why....

The DVD player she got was a piece of crap and didn't work. I told her I had to get something out of the car. I returned with my XBox that had been in my trunk when I moved out after finding out about the OM. It had been in my trunk for over a month. I set it up so my Ds would have some entertainment while with their mom. She invited me to stay for a bit. The old me would have jumped at the chance. I politely told her no because I had to go workout. She replied "I thought you already went to the gym." I told her no, I did yardwork after work. When I was leaving, she told me she made dinner for the girls earlier and asked if I wanted to stay a bit and eat. I told her no, I had to get going and left.

Also, she made chili on Sunday and told me she left some for me when she picked up our daughters this morning. (I am not there when she arrives as I leave for work early) I joked that if it passed my standards, maybe I would make something for her. She was overjoyed with this as I make a pasta dish she absolutely loves.

I feel like I am in control again.