WHG: Looking for the shrinking cake

[workinghardguy]

Had a mixed weekend. Had S all weekend which was great. We had a lot of fun. Bought him a new inflatable water slide thing and that was money well spent

The mixed part is that my S is speaking of the break-up more. I'm not sure if it's the transition of summer, end of kindergarten or what but he mentions it at least every other day now. This weekend it was once or twice each day. I can see it hurts him. That it confuses him and his little mind is struggling to understand it. I hate to see him hurt. At one point this weekend he asked if mommy would go with daddy to a dance. When I said that wouldn't happen he fell apart because we must not love each other. So again we walked through the love of friends, that mommy and daddy are doing the best we can, and that this will take time. But that we both still love him tremendously. And it was just a theoretical dance...

Ended up with S an extra night last night. W forgot to put her spare house key back in its spot so I couldn't get into her house to put S to bed. She asked if I wanted her to get S after work or just have him sleep here. I opted to keep him another night as I didn't want him up until 10pm on a school night.

I've been waiting for the inevitable pushback from W's impromptu shopping escapade with us on Friday. I'm sort of surprised nothing so far. Received a number of emails from her this weekend about her work schedule and some money items we're working out. Each time I opened an email I braced myself for a pushback but nothing.

Then today she called and I let it go to voice mail. She wanted to know when I was picking SS up. SS and I have a deal that he can mow my lawn and I'll pay him $10. Anyway, I called her back and as we talked I told her to let me know when they were done with supper and I'd come over so I didn't interrupt their dinner. Then she invites me over to eat dinner with them. I told her I was working late but I'd see, but not to count on me. I ended up deciding not to go.

I picked SS up and we worked on the lawn together. Then ran to the store together. Got back home and let SS pay a little XBox while we talked and caught up. Then got a text from W asking if I was home. Said I was and a few minutes later there she is with S. They had walked to a park nearby and thought they'd stop by. Ok... gave me a chance to give S the outfit I bought him for his Kindergarten ceremony tomorrow. Then I gave them all a lift back to her house as I was heading out of town from some GAL.

So she continues to baffle me. Her tone is much nicer than ever. She emailed me this morning apologizing profusely that she missed my reply to a schedule email yesterday. Seriously... I didn't care.

One awkward moment tonight came when she was at my house. She was trying to remember one of my S's classmates names. I told her the class list was on the bulletin board. She looked and came back pissed off. Apparently I'm the only parent listed. Mind you the class list was printed back in August. She starts going off about how dare they not list her.. just because we're apart doesn't mean she shouldn't be on there... I point out the list was printed in August. I remind her there was a glitch in the district database where we had two records (one for her, one for me... prophetic I guess). That S was tied to my record until I got that resolved in September. No dice... wasn't placating her at all.

I could feel all the old feelings racing back. Feeling like I was failing. Feeling like I was letting her down because she was mad, even though her anger wasn't rational or justified.

But this time I was able to snap myself out of it. I realized she's pissed. Ok. I can't make her un-pissed. I tried to offer her new information, she didn't want to internalize it. That's all I can do. So I just turned to my S and had him try on his new outfit.